Thursday, June 4, 2009

i don't like this feeling...

cmni...
isk tah la...rase cam if i let it out pon theres gonna be other opinion that i know can be right or true or acceptable...its not that im affraid that i might be wrong and others are right, but i always have these arguments and conflicts within me on every issue that in the end, i end up letting it go and not think about it and let it pass and wallah, i have not problem..
that is, until the same thing appears again..
then the same process might follow...

huhm..
this time its about me feeling used, or wanted only when needed. or when theres just me who will always be there and say yes to everything people have got to say..

i have this problem that when people ask me for help, dgn ikhlas nye saye akn tolong if bole... selagi bole i will help...
but i guess ppl took advantage of that...took me for granted...

dlu wen i tumpang kn org at uni...give ride to my besties...org kate they were using me...
but i rily dont mind giving ppl ride...lgpn dah mmg we are from the same place heading to the same destination. X to Y. apelah salahnye kn? i guess yg bwk mulut tu just jeles...sp2 pon i mmg xksh if it wont trouble me...

but ofcoz, theres time when i was in need, theres no one there to give me a ride...
bukan nk meminta balasan, tapi kdg2 rase diri terpukul sndri...

lame2, i prefer riding alone...bia la how big my car is, if org mntk tumpg i bagi....
tp i limit my "friendly-ness"...mls nk dgr mulut2 org lagi...buat hal sndri lg sng...

pastu there are times [alot] where ppl wud ring me, saying:

can u teman me go there?
can u go there, come here, pick me up, help me pick up, send me etc.

sumtimes rase terhutang budi dgn kebaikan org pada kita, i ikot kn saje...
sumtimes budi tu dihulurkn oleh kaum keluarga die, rase bhutang pada die pon ade...
sumtimes xde rase thutang pn, disebabkn die lebey tua, ikot kn jua..
sumtimes sb die bdk lagi, xkn nk bia je...
sumtimes disebabkn hbgn yg rpt, buat je...

most of the time, its in my nature not to let ppl down...

tp bukan byk yg ku pinta....
hanya perasaanku dijaga...

am i asking too much?
one call, one txt, one word, one smile....
sometimes thats all im asking for...

pastu plak....
there are times...
when theres someone else that comes into the picture...
im tossed away..
forgotten...
making me feel like im a filler...
bile da xde anyone else, just find me...

helo, banyak cantik muka?
i ni xde perasaan ke?

huhm
so there goes..
i know im not the only one with this feeling...
and some might say kecoh la kn i nk ckp psl bnde2 cmni...
but this is my box of chocolates...
this is the bitter piece..
cant seem to really tell someone about it, but this is how i feel generally...




xx

3 comments:

  1. I feel u dear..sumtimes ppl just dun appreciate d tings we do..n just bcz we're alwiz there tryin to help the..they tend to take tings for granted..ive been thru the same..but hey! Look on d bright side..u still hav me!! Btw..sory if i pon cntribute to making u feel dat way...

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  2. chill dina...i xkan buat cam2..

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